Rachel: This works nicely. Your images are clear, the timing is pretty good (but could use a little tinkering), and your voice is compelling. You don't go into much detail, and were this not the end of the quarter, I'd push you to include more details about the project and about how it works. At this point, though, I'd just like you to work on the ending. That seems like a really important part of the pitch--how you can get your own kids to learn the importance of giving through this project. Can you 1) say more about this, and 2) have ending slides that focus more on kids learning to give? The final slide only has adults in it, and this doesn't really fit with what you're saying. Give this part a bit more attention.
Rachel: This works nicely. Your images are clear, the timing is pretty good (but could use a little tinkering), and your voice is compelling. You don't go into much detail, and were this not the end of the quarter, I'd push you to include more details about the project and about how it works. At this point, though, I'd just like you to work on the ending. That seems like a really important part of the pitch--how you can get your own kids to learn the importance of giving through this project. Can you 1) say more about this, and 2) have ending slides that focus more on kids learning to give? The final slide only has adults in it, and this doesn't really fit with what you're saying. Give this part a bit more attention.
ReplyDeleteGrade so far: 40/50