OK, now I'm confused. In terms of the mechanics of this speech, you've done well. However, your final line totally surprised me. I thought you were focusing on how you love being in nature. That's what all the details highlight. Very little of the speech makes you seem adventurous! You don't describe yourself as taking risks or doing things that most people wouldn't do. Perhaps you WERE doing risky things...but that's not how you make it seem. You focus on the beauty of the moment and of the scene. THAT'S what it seems that you are working to emphasize. Why adventurous? Please come explain.
OK, now I'm confused. In terms of the mechanics of this speech, you've done well. However, your final line totally surprised me. I thought you were focusing on how you love being in nature. That's what all the details highlight. Very little of the speech makes you seem adventurous! You don't describe yourself as taking risks or doing things that most people wouldn't do. Perhaps you WERE doing risky things...but that's not how you make it seem. You focus on the beauty of the moment and of the scene. THAT'S what it seems that you are working to emphasize. Why adventurous? Please come explain.
ReplyDeleteStill 45/50
aghh i will do it again. not tonight but by tomorrow. i dont know why i said adventurous. im gonna stick with nature loving
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